Early in our relationship and continuing throughout our marriage, Sexy Grandpa and I created an understanding around reassuring messages. Over the years, “Be safe”, “Call if you are running late” or “Touch base” during the day when we’re each out and about have become a valued and appreciated part of our growing, intimate relationship. When I know I’m not going to make it home when I originally thought I would, I call to let my husband know. Why would I want him to worry unnecessarily? And, predictably I hear him say, “Thanks for letting me know and be safe.” Or, “Just be safe – I’ll be here when you get home.” “I love you.”
In our world, this small gesture is a big deal! It’s a reminder that we are loved. It’s a reminder that each other’s well-being is important to one another. It’s one of many opportunities we have to express how much value we place on loving communication and closeness.
Many years ago, and during a crippling snow storm, Sexy Grandpa was 20 minutes from home and called to tell me where he was, not to worry and that he’d be home soon. An hour later, no husband and no phone call. An hour and a half later, again, no husband and no phone call. Two hours slowly passed. I was frozen in panic. He didn’t answer my call. I didn’t receive one. I was absolutely petrified that something horrible had happened. How could 20 minutes turn into 2 hours?
When I finally heard the door open, I burst into appreciative tears. There was no, “Why didn’t you call me?” All I could think of is my overwhelming gratitude for his safety. Well, the explanation of what happened followed. First, phone battery died. Then just after we spoke, an overturned vehicle blocked the roadway he was on and no one could pass going in either direction. Sexy Grandpa knew I’d be absolutely frightened and there was nothing he could do at the time to easy my worry. The only thing he could control was to arrive home safely no matter how long that would take.
Even before this incident, we have always recognized the importance of reassuring phone calls. After this happened, we recommitted to keeping one another informed during delays, to touch base and to express love first and foremost in our conversations. This understanding has stood the test of time – 27+ years and a strong foundation to our enduring love.
I hope you, too, remember that reassurance is a key component to intimate relationships. May you never face the kind of uncertainty I did during that crippling snow storm.
Stay tuned. We’re counting on you to keep us stay young at heart.